TNH – The Northern Hemisphere

Tesco Away featured in July 2021 issue of From The Grove to The Harrow:

“Awaydays” Preparation is paramount without this the whole flow and potential success of the day could be ruined before the first half whistle is blown and the first kick of the football.

Having a reliable source for the weather forecast is essential, whether this is via a news source, website, app or an “old school” physical newspaper you need to be confident that it served you well in the past. The printed newspaper option can often be too risky if you buy this on match day as all your proverbial clothing eggs are already in one basket, no going back home now to change.

You opt for the BBC Weather app on a mobile device and for a short while become the Michael Fish of the football terraces, a skilled prediction of the days weather massively impacts the choice of jacket and trainers for the following day.

With the weather forecast as accurate as it can be without having a phone call with God the wardrobe doors are flung open to reveal the treasure trove of terrace attire. The head scratching and matching up “combos” begins this can go on for a few hours and few lubricating thought-provoking beers always help the process. Not too many mind as you may end up with a brave pastel La Coste polo and the brightly coloured Malmo’s on foot, not the best for a mid-Winter away fixture.

A lubricating thought-provoking beer in hand it’s time to go in, a Mr Benn slash Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe kind of going in. So, do we go from head down or feet up? A sip of the beer and its head down. Burberry or Aquascutum? Got to be the Aquascutum as there is rain forecast in the morning and the brand name derived from the Latin words “aqua” meaning water and “scutum” which means “shield” so a “water shield”, maybe not in the case for a lambswool scarf.

Seemed to have jumped the gun somewhat, Mr Benn has missed a crucial item, the headwear as any shaven headed middle-aged man will tell should absolutely categorically never be forgotten, so we have riffle through the hat box. Yes, there is a hat box, it’s a bald man’s parachute! Two rummages deep the FILA ski hat makes an appearance and joins the scarf on the bed.

Did someone shout “cover those legs” that will be me with a very loud megaphone, mid-Winter match day has to be the timeless LOIS cords in tan, someone else screams “put a top on FFS”!

As Morrissey once sang “Off the rails I was and off the rails I was happy to stay” in this case it is up at the rails again hangers flicking about, a pop of colour to go with the tan LOIS cords, the enigma, the elusive Benetton rugby shirt in green.

Next up the footwear decisions, simple has to be the Trimm Trab in navy blue and soft yellow to accompany the tan Lois cords, and we now go in for the big guns, the smother, the coat. A difficult choice but for this match day it is the Berghaus 87 Pole jacket in navy blue with pink lining to make the girls wink. I nearly forgot the train cans vessel the wonderfully versatile FJall Raven Kanken a timeless classic. There was a great FJall Raven shop in Ambleside which has sadly now shut down, but the great pub on the corner opposite still survives. Now all ironed and ready it’s an early night for an early alarm call for the following morning.

The last Berwick Rangers away game was against Bo’ness United where they lost 2-1. Borrowstounness a Scottish town in between Falkirk and Edinburgh on the coast, their home ground being Newton Park. The train from Berwick takes you along the coast to Dunbar then across to Edinburngh Waverley station. From there the train stops at Linlithgow where you catch a bus to Borrowstounness. For this journey train cans are essential items, the small 330ml cans maximise the space in the Kanken a decent selection of upmarket cans for the more discerning of awayday travellers. First in the bag the Beavertown Gamma Ray American Pale Ale a juicy tropical beer weighing in at a 5.4% perfect to kick start the journey to the football ground. Next in is the Magic Rock Saucery a session IPA to get you through the train journey and finally to keep you awake but still well-oiled for the journey home and hopefully a celebratory 3 points the wonderful Common Grounds coffee porter, tasting notes describe this as having hints of toffee, rich fruit, chocolate, vanilla and hazelnut a true taste sensation to get the taste buds tingling!

If your awayday experience is a solo venture or with mates you may want a music soundtrack to kill some time or numb some of the pre-match tension. Ensuring your travel tunes are ready to go and easily accessible makes for a much more relaxing experience, for this awayday we go for Nightmares on Wax – Back to Mine for the journey home, which could be replaced with singing if the 3 points are in the bag. For the outward leg of the journey DMA’s- Live at Brixton and The Coral – Coral Island a conceptual psychedelic musical masterpiece narrated by James and Ian Skelly’s 85-year-old Grandad “The Great Moriarty” the bands 10^th studio album 24 tracks of velvety, interwoven gems that leave you wanting to unlock more each listen, the album opens to the narrative “On Coral Island you can fall in love, all the piers and promenades on the boardwalks and bridleways of innocent dreams”.

As the new season fast approaches and it looks like fans will be allowed back into the football grounds the excitement of the pre-season fixtures mounts. The first planned pre-season fixture is a mouth-watering clash against newly promoted to the Scottish Premiership the Jam Tarts AKA Hearts of Midlothian under the management of Robbie Nelson. It’s a 7pm Friday evening fixture which makes the match day experience something of an afternoon delight!

With the work that has been carried at The Curfew it really is a great place and location for pre match beers in Berwick. I have mentioned The Curfew briefly before in previous ramblings it is special place, so no harm to mention it again, I guess!

Situated on the up-and-coming Bridge Street, beautifully and subtly hidden up a delightfully painted alley with “The Curfew” you know you have definitely found the right place. The alleyway opens up the splendid out door seating area with its pergola with optional rain cover perfect for those sudden unexpected sharp Berwick downpours, which I have witnessed first hand many times over the years on the walk up to Shielfield Park.

As you open the door to the main bar area you get an overwhelming feeling of warmth, not just the warmth that thaws you out on a cold Winters matchday, but also a mental feeling of wellbeing as you are made to feel completely welcome by the locals, holiday makers, football goers and staff as they give you a smile and a nod as you enter. In a world that sometimes feels it dragging you down a little love and kindness from your fellow human beings goes a long way, so does 3 points on a Saturday afternoon around these parts! “Mon the Gers!!”

At the small bar area there are always some decent hand pulls on and an amazingly well stocked fridge. On the wall to the right is a menu for the beers and ciders available, a joyous ready! If you fancy a light bite before the match, I can highly recommend the locally sourced Game Pie, but be sure you leave enough room for Fish and Chips at half time at the football ground. No visit to The Curfew would be complete without a look in the new Snug area which I am yet to have the pleasure of experiencing but very much looking forward to it this season.

With the new season to look forward to, real football “awaydays” are just a breath away from returning and Saturday afternoon visits to the local supermarket a thing of the past as “Tesco Away” doesn’t have the same ring to it or appeal.

By Michael Conboy