TNH – The Northern Hemisphere

Kung- Fu Cantona …article featured in issue 2 of Diego Mag:

The music stops and the red robed gold crown wearing bearded Frenchman stands at the top of the steps of Gunnersbury Park in Hounslow London, which was originally owned by the Rothschild Family.

The “King” makes his way down the mansion steps to an awaiting black vintage Rolls Royce, as he approaches the car the butler dressed in a black suit and top hat opens the car door and the crowned Frenchman climbs inside.

The butler with a familiar swagger walks round to the driver’s side and gets in, as the car drives away down the long drive a John Lennon Imagine esque piano plays and camera pans out to an aerial view of the white mansion, the words “The King – Eric Cantona” appear on the screen.

If you haven’t already guessed the butler and chauffeur is Liam Gallagher. This unusual meeting of minds, Liam a Manchester City fan and Eric famously ending his professional playing career at rivals Manchester United is for Liam’s music video and single “Once”.

Of the meeting, and Eric featuring in the video Liam said “I’m absolutely thrilled to have Eric Cantona, the last Rock n Roll footballer star in my video for Once, songs like this don’t come around often and neither do football players like him”.

This is first time Eric has been seen on the screen for a while the last time was when he presented the presidents award at the UEFA Awards ceremony in 2019, his speech was classic Cantona, his co-presenters didn’t know what to make of “As flies to wanton boys we are for the Gods, they kill us for their sport” a quote from King Lear.

He goes on to say “Soon the science will not only be able to slow down aging of the cells, soon the science will fix the cells to the state and so we will become eternal, only accidents, crimes, wars will still kill us but unfortunately crimes, wars will multiply. I love football, thank you”

Throughout his speech you can hear a pin drop, the camera moves around the bemused crowd and focuses on Messi and Ronaldo who are sat next to each other. The look of confusion on Ronaldo’s face is priceless, totally bemused like a man who has unwillingly been brainwashed into some kind of weird footballing cult.

From one bizarre speech to another, not so much a speech in this case but his statement to the press following the said titled “incident” on the 25^th January 1995.

Dressed in shirt and tie and a grey smart jacket he takes a sip of water and reads the following statement to the packed press conference “When the seagulls follow the trawler, its because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea, thank you very much”. He then gets up and exits the press conference there are some nervous laughs from the “seagulls” sorry I meant journalists in the room, or am I reading to much into the statement? I guess we can all have our own thoughts on what we think he might have meant.

Eric Daniel Pierre Cantona signed on a short-term loan contract from the French team Nimes to Leeds United on 1992, this loan deal would then later that year become permanent with an additional payment from Leeds.

Under the management of Howard Wilkinson, Cantona’s most notable achievement from his time at Leeds United was when he scored a hat trick in the 1992 Charity Shield match against Liverpool to win the game 4-3.

But things with Cantona and Wilkinson seemed to turn sour when Wilkinson dropped him from the team later that year, with a poor excuse that Eric had a groin strain. Being the hot-headed French man, he is he refused to turn up for training and faxed a transfer request to the club which specified the clubs he would like to be transferred to with no particular order or preference – Liverpool, Manchester United or Arsenal.

Leeds United fans were not happy at the rumours of his transfer to their bitter rivals Manchester United.

Leaving Leeds for an estimated 1.2 million he arrived at the Manchester United training ground and introduced himself to his team mates “I’m Eric, and I am here to win the title for you”. The “King” had arrived.

The “Kings” palace in Manchester was less than grand to say the least. According to Shaun Ryder and Bez from the Happy Mondays who lived on the modest housing estate in Manchester at the time, they were surprised to see Eric Cantona move into the house opposite them one day when they were filling their bath with a Month’s worth of dirty pots and pans for washing up. Seemingly Eric just wanted to live in a 3-bedroom semi-detached.

Back on the football pitch Cantona fitted into the team well despite his bold introduction. He started to contribute to the team’s goals, and also created assists for the other players and was linking up well with Mark Hughes.

Manchester United retained the Premier League title with his help, so his introductory statement wasn’t as bold as first thought. He was voted PFA Player of the Year for that season 93- 94 and was also the clubs top goal scorer with 25 goals.

The following season was one of stark contrast to his previous season’s success, on the 25^th January Cantona was involved in an incident which would fill the newspapers and news headlines around the world.

In an away fixture against Crystal Palace Cantona was shown a red card for kicking a Crystal Palace defender who had been tightly marking him all of the game.

As Eric was doing his walk of shame from the pitch a Crystal Palace supporter ran down from row 11 and hurled abuse at him, allegedly saying “Fuck off back to France, you French Bastard”. Not very original but what do you expect from an uneducated knuckle dragger! Cantona enraged at the abuse launched at him over the barriers with a “kung-fu” style kick followed by a quick succession of punches.

He was disciplined by Manchester United and the FA but also faced criminal charges for the incident which he was sentenced to 2 weeks in prison, following a successful appeal his prison sentence was changed to 120-hour community service which he spent football coaching children at Manchester United’s training ground…. all hail the King!!

“When the Seagulls follow the trawler………”

He did carry on playing for Manchester United after the incident and captained the team in some of that time that followed, he announced his retirement from football in 1997 at the age of 30.

Since then he has ironically taken up acting and has starred alongside the likes of Cate Blanchett to name but a few. His new direction into acting probably goes someway to explain some of his bizarre and theatrical speeches and press conferences over the years, the budding actor itching to get out.